Because I Said So: The Time I...
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Wednesday, January 29, 2014

The Time I...

And now it's time for a TTI --
The time I was asked by a cop if I had been diagnosed for anxiety. Yep.
I'm letting y'all in on a little personal secret...I have bad (undiagnosed/self diagnosed) anxiety

Let me back up. 

Growing up as a kid, I was a real rule follower. Hated to get in trouble,--a.k.a it was the end of the world if I "pulled a slip" or "got a green sheet", tears, hated when other people broke the rules, etc. I blame my parents, but they say they did NOT contribute to my anxious tendencies. LIES.

Anyways, 
fast forward twenty years, and here I am getting pulled over. WOMP WOMP WOMP. Nobody likes to get pulled over or wants to get pulled over, but for me its more serious. Tears immediately begin once I see those flashing lights turned on. I honestly can't help it. I have anxiety issues ok? Getting pulled over is one of the many triggers for my panic attacks.

Crap. I knew I wasn't speeding...SO WHY WAS HE PULLING ME OVER?? (Crying waterfalls here.)


As the routine, hi ma'am license and registration please, do you know why I pulled you over commenced, I am BAWLING. The officer can barely get a word in. Straight boo hooing with hiccups every once in awhile. I kinda feel bad for the poor cop, but then again he brought this upon himself.

The reason he pulled me over was because I had a headlight out. A HEADLIGHT OUT! Seriously how do these things happen to me? And how was I supposed to know????

More panic and more tears ensue as I realize I have never bought NOR changed a headlight (and it was a Sunday so I wasn't going to be around people who knew how to do that aka my dad!) What was I going to do?? The world is ending! I'm all alone. I have work tomorrow--HELP!

all of the thoughts running through my head at this point

While trying to calm me down, (nice try) he asked me about 100 times if I was going to be ok (um no hello--I would've been fine if you hadn't pulled me over) and if I had ever been diagnosed for anxiety (also a no) I probably should be. It would save me a lot of headaches and tears and headaches from the tears. Thank you sir for pointing that out, I'll just go cry myself to sleep. You have a nice night too!


Side note: it's a good thing I didn't know about the headlight because I didn't get a ticket. Also probably because he felt sorry for me.  Yep that was probably it.


Needless to say, it wasn't one of my finer moments and unfortunately I have to cope with little panic attacks over mostly dumb things every day.

If you have anxiety, I totally know how you feel--also if you've ever been pulled over for a headlight being out--you are so not alone
(because I said so)
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6 comments:

  1. Wait, stop. This is me. Like the first few paragraphs. Me. And no one ever understands why! I am so so sorry this happened to you, ugh but everything happens for a reason and at least the cop had enough decency to see how upset you were and not give you a ticket! I'm here if you ever need to talk, from a fellow self diagnosed person with anxiety
    xo

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    1. I'm so glad I'm not alone! Thanks girl!!! xoxo

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  2. Anxiety sucks. Amen amen amen. I am guilty of wanting to cry when a cop pulls me over (twice) or is in my presence (i.e.. flat tire sitch) I get it at different times about different things. Never been fully diagnosed either so I feel you! I do have medicine but I refuse to take it...and suffer from anxiety oops!

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    1. My sister is diagnosed and has medicine, but idk if I'd actually take it even if I was diagnosed! Mixed feelings about that..I'd like to continue to suffer as well haha

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  3. I completely relate to you. I know I experience more anxiety than the average person also, but am not big on the idea of taking medicine. If only there was some sort of natural cure.
    Stacy

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    1. Seriously! If you find one, let me know :)

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