Because I Said So: How To: Know Your Dog is Really Your Child
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Wednesday, May 28, 2014

How To: Know Your Dog is Really Your Child

A lot of my friends got puppy fever this past year or years, myself included (the boyfriend and I woke up one day and felt like getting a puppy, so we did. Not the best planning) I think we both failed that accounting test!

I feel like I am a mother when talk about the first couple of months we had Laney--like a mother who couldn't handle it. I remember sobbing because she wouldn't listen, potty on the pee pad, or when she got sick. I hope this is no indication of what I'll be like as a mother to a human eventually. 
I don't have kids, but I can imagine it's something similar to having a puppychild.

Here are a few ways to know that your dog is really your child:

1. You've wiped your dog's butt. Let's face it. Being a dog mom is not glamourous. Sometimes they eat stuff they aren't supposed to (mainly hairballs) and it gets stuck. Chaos ensues and usually it's in front of people. Never ideal timing with the puppychild.

2. Cleaned up throw up--in record timing so they don't eat it. I know. Gross.

3. You have to socialize them and teach them to share. Still working on this.

4. When your dog doesn't like someone, you probably shouldn't like them. Trust your dog.

5. You are the only one who can punish, yell at, or spank your dog. How dare anyone else speak meanly of (or to) your puppychild. #rude #bye

6.  You have to train them to NOT sleep in the bed with you. When they are little it's usually fine, but as they get older, it's a no. They must sleep in their own bed. In fact, Laney is curled up in bed with me as I write this. Mommy fail.

7. You have pictures of them everywhere. Your phone, your walls, anywhere you can keep pictures.  You take pictures of them sleeping, eating, playing, really anything and everything--it can be ridiculous.

8. You dress them up. Ok, I'm not one of those dog owners with the prissy dogs that needs bows in their hair and sweaters at all times. But occasionally, I like to put a shirt on Laney or socks. She obviously loves it.

9. You buy them expensive toys, when they'd much rather just play with the packaging. Laney loves playing with empty water bottles/water jugs. Why we spend money on toys that she destroys in .5 seconds is beyond me.

10. Their grandparents are THE WORST at spoiling them. Anything you are trying to train them to do is ruined with one trip to your parent's house. Laney's Nana is the worst. Treats on treats on treats--even  though Laney is trying to watch her figure.

How do YOU know you're a "Dog Mom"?


  1. Lol I have 3 kids and well it just about sounds the same haha

  2. I realized I was def a dog mom (and obsessed) when i started to talk to PorkChop in my baby voice as if she was a toddler or something lol Im def dealing with a brat over here as well!

  3. I am a single dog mom and this is so true! Every one of these is true - especially the grandparents one… My parents love buying Sushi stuff & spoiling her. She doesn't get more treats than when she's staying with them.

  4. So true! Our dog is definitely our child and our parents (the dog's grandparents) spoil him to no end! I can't even imagine when we start having real kids...

  5. I love my dog, Darth! I wouldnt know what to do without him! I've had him since he was 8 weeks so he's apart of my family.

  6. When my friends with kids are talking about their kids' behavior, I relate to the conversation by talking about training my dog.

  7. All of the above as well as the one my children hate...I talk to them and pause as if they are answering me back. We carry on full conversations in this manner. Please tell me you do the same.....

  8. All of these are so so true! I always feel like I'm a mother to my two "boys" who just drive me crazy!

  9. Dying!!! hahaha!!!! Sooo true. (What kind of dog is Laney?! She looks very similar to mine in the face!)

  10. I LOVE this post! We no longer have a dog, we had to put her down a couple years back, but everything you said is so true, specifically the wiping the dog's butt part. LOL Great post!

  11. hahah omg I loved this! Your pooch is so cute, too!!
    Kallie - But First, Coffee

  12. I'm getting a photography session for my human kids and pugs for a Christmas photo. I'm a crazy dog aunt too. When my friend goes away, I go to her house to play with her dogs :)

  13. I'm a single dog mom of four (all unplanned, they just happened). This article is great!