When Good Bridesmaids Go Bad

You do your best when picking your bridesmaids. Heck sometimes asking them to be your bridesmaid rivals the proposal itself! There are girls you are close to from childhood and all walks of life, future-sister in laws and of course blood relatives. But, a lot can happen between the time you ask them to be in the bridal party and the time you actually get married.

Mainly life. 

So, what happens when things go sour and a bridesmaid turns rogue? (not unlike the movie Bridesmaids)

Long story short? Work it out. In the kindest, most nicest way possible, of course. If you need to have a heart to heart, do it over coffee or food (everyone loves food). It could be that her issue with you is actually not about you at all (she's just taking it out on you). 

The way I see it there are a few main things bridesmaids complain about (we are all guilty of a few):

They don't agree with your planning? Unless you ask for their opinion, they should keep it to themselves. 

They don't want to buy the dress? But think of all the ways you can wear it/use it again. Just kidding. It's one of the things they sign up for when AGREEING to be a bridesmaid. It's in the fine print which of course no one reads. 

They complain about everything?  Ugh, don't you just hate that. You don't need that negativity. Let them know and put an immediate stop to it.

By the way, it pays to be upfront with these issues. Fearing confrontation will only make it worse--and this is coming from someone who knows what it's like to hate confrontation!

Now of course, all of this is easier said than done and strictly a case by case basis. Is it proper etiquette to un-ask someone to be your bridesmaid? Probably not. 

The choice is yours.

I would of course, talk to the offending maid first. If that doesn't work, well....  

At the end of the day, it's your big, special day. Not their's. It's an honor (or at least it should be viewed that way) to stand next you on the most important day of your life.

Pro Tip: Ladies, if you're a bridesmaid, don't take the responsibility lightly and only agree if you are going to be in it for the long haul--because I said so.