A Dose of Reality and (another) Lesson in Patience

It's no secret that I work in the wedding industry. There are times that I absolutely adore it and then there are others where it gets very trying. Now hold on a second, don't get me wrong,

I. LOVE. MY. JOB. 

But as a "single" girl dealing with booking weddings and going to wedding shows and attending weddings, it gets taxing. I get all caught up in the planning and the magic of all things wedding that I start to plan my own (I have a whole board on Pinterest, but who doesn't right?)--to the point where I'm in a super rush to get married. 

I tell Joshua (and may or may not pressure him), he gets annoyed (ok so I am pressuring him), then I get annoyed that he's annoyed, and it doesn't end well. 

This is the point where I start to feel like an old maid, and get this slight panic feeling that Joshua never wants to commit and doesn't love me anymore (see out. of. control.) and that I may never get married and then....I realize....

Wait a minute. I'm only 22. I only graduated college 6 months ago and I have so much that I want to accomplish.

There is no absolute rush to get married. 

There are two trends in the industry right now--that I've noticed.

One: Getting married in your early twenties or earlier. 

Two: Getting married in your mid to late twenties.

Each are perfectly fine and a personal preference. 

I'm not here to tell you that getting married so young is wrong and that you should wait until you're 27.

When you're ready, you're ready and only you as a couple know that. 

What I do know, is that as much as I'd like think I'm ready, I know deep down that I'm not. 

(wow that took a lot to admit) 

If I'd got married now, I'd be doing it for all the wrong reasons (because everyone else is). After all of the glitz from planning a wedding fades and I have a second to sit down and think about it. Getting married scares the crap out of me. I'm not ready to grow up, take on all of the grown up responsibilities (I'd like to take this whole grown up thing in as many tiny steps as possible)--much less share anything with Joshua (besides our dog). Call me selfish, but that's where I am in my life right now. 

#divastatus

 And I know there are so many goals, individual goals, that we both want to accomplish before we tie the knot.

I have plenty of time to grow up and plenty of time to get married. Yep that's right people, you heard it here first. (ring the alarm and someone tell Joshua) I will do my best to try to stop badgering him about the type of ring I want, updating him on who's getting married and when, and what the best month to get married would be.

If I get proposed to tomorrow that would be great, but if it's another two years that's great too. 

Because I said so.

Patience is a Virtue Right?

Finding a job is tough. It seems as if its all about who you know (so exactly why did I spend four years at college?) and every job wants experience (so where exactly do I get experience if no one will hire me?) I graduated and i should have a job by now right?

Now granted, I only graduated like 11 days ago but it feels like I should have a job by now. Some people who graduated high school with me who have also graduated college have had jobs lined up for months or have babies/married or are going to grad school which is a nice excuse to not have a job. Me? I'm not doing anything. I go to workout everyday and that'a about it.

So why does it feel like I'm 1. missing out and 2. need to be keeping up with everyone else? It's like keeping up with the Jones' not with stuff but just in life in general.

I've never been that great at having patience with really anything. Queen said it best: I want it all. I want it all. I want it all. And I want it NOW. If that could be my middle name, it would be.

With each new job application and each new "sorry we are pursuing other candidates" everyone around me has been saying dont worry something will come around. Be patient. Easier said than done. They already have careers.

But with that being said, I think this is God telling me to just chill out and enjoy life. I have to have faith in Him that He will provide and help open doors and be patient. Because He says so.