Harmless Flirting

Josh has always had a weird way of flirting/getting my attention/annoying me.   

Before we were ever dating or even thought about dating, he did a number of crazy things to get my attention.(I think he secretly liked me ever since 10th grade)

These said crazy things include but are not limited to: tying my shoelaces to the desk in front of me (thus making me late for my next class) and throwing bits of paper in my obnoxiously curly hair during class (they'd get stuck and he thought it was hilarious--I'd find paper two days later).

However, my absolute favorite, the one that takes the cake, involves a duck. 

Yep, you read it right.

 A real. Live. Duck. 

Quack Quack. 

I don't think y'all are ready for this. The weirdest things happen to me! 

A brief history. 

My family lives way in the country so I never locked my car doors. 

1.  I never have anything valuable stashed in the car 

2. What redneck wants to walk all the way up the driveway to break into my car

--my guess is...not that many.

Anyways...

That one fateful night, I, as usual, left my doors unlocked. The next morning I was leaving for a college tour over 5 hours away and had just gotten home from a grueling cheer practice. Locking my doors was not on the top of my to do list. 

Well it should have been.

dum dum DUMMMMM.

Morning rolls around and the whole fam is packing up the car to leave for this college tour. Silly me forgot my sunglasses in my car (and it's a good thing I did). 

Imagine my surprise, when I opened the door and was greeted by a QUACK QUACK. What the hell!? Is this real life? There is a freaking live duck in my car--shitting all over the place might I add (sorry for the language, but "pooping" does not do the whole incident justice). It's standing on my console (covered in duck poo) and just staring at me. 

Like, excuse me, why is there a duck in my car AND what am I supposed to do?!?

Immediately (even though it was 6 am on a Saturday) I knew who did it. I called Josh. I mean who else could it have been?  He groggily answered the phone to me yelling at him. All he did was laugh.He was clearly expecting THAT call. Stinker. 

Meanwhile the duck hopped out of the car, desperate for some fresh air I'm sure, and waddled off into the woods. It was never seen or heard from again. 

(Our neighbors have a pond so I'm hoping it made it safely there) 

It's a good thing my family is so good-natured about little pranks like that. My mom ended up cleaning the duck poo out of the car (she's a saint--and let's face it, there was no way I was touching that), I got my sunglasses, and we were able to make the college tour appointment. 

But you can bet, I always always always lock my car now.