And now it's time for a TTI --
The time I was asked by a cop if I had been diagnosed for anxiety. Yep.
I'm letting y'all in on a little personal secret...I have bad (undiagnosed/self diagnosed) anxiety
Let me back up.
Growing up as a kid, I was a real rule follower. Hated to get in trouble,--a.k.a it was the end of the world if I "pulled a slip" or "got a green sheet", tears, hated when other people broke the rules, etc. I blame my parents, but they say they did NOT contribute to my anxious tendencies. LIES.
Anyways,
fast forward twenty years, and here I am getting pulled over. WOMP WOMP WOMP. Nobody likes to get pulled over or wants to get pulled over, but for me its more serious. Tears immediately begin once I see those flashing lights turned on. I honestly can't help it. I have anxiety issues ok? Getting pulled over is one of the many triggers for my panic attacks.Crap. I knew I wasn't speeding...SO WHY WAS HE PULLING ME OVER?? (Crying waterfalls here.)
As the routine, hi ma'am license and registration please, do you know why I pulled you over commenced, I am BAWLING. The officer can barely get a word in. Straight boo hooing with hiccups every once in awhile. I kinda feel bad for the poor cop, but then again he brought this upon himself.
The reason he pulled me over was because I had a headlight out. A HEADLIGHT OUT! Seriously how do these things happen to me? And how was I supposed to know????
More panic and more tears ensue as I realize I have never bought NOR changed a headlight (and it was a Sunday so I wasn't going to be around people who knew how to do that aka my dad!) What was I going to do?? The world is ending! I'm all alone. I have work tomorrow--HELP!
all of the thoughts running through my head at this point
While trying to calm me down, (nice try) he asked me about 100 times if I was going to be ok (um no hello--I would've been fine if you hadn't pulled me over) and if I had ever been diagnosed for anxiety (also a no) I probably should be. It would save me a lot of headaches and tears and headaches from the tears. Thank you sir for pointing that out, I'll just go cry myself to sleep. You have a nice night too!
Side note: it's a good thing I didn't know about the headlight because I didn't get a ticket. Also probably because he felt sorry for me. Yep that was probably it.
Needless to say, it wasn't one of my finer moments and unfortunately I have to cope with little panic attacks over mostly dumb things every day.
If you have anxiety, I totally know how you feel--also if you've ever been pulled over for a headlight being out--you are so not alone
(because I said so)
Wait, stop. This is me. Like the first few paragraphs. Me. And no one ever understands why! I am so so sorry this happened to you, ugh but everything happens for a reason and at least the cop had enough decency to see how upset you were and not give you a ticket! I'm here if you ever need to talk, from a fellow self diagnosed person with anxiety
ReplyDeletexo
I'm so glad I'm not alone! Thanks girl!!! xoxo
DeleteAnxiety sucks. Amen amen amen. I am guilty of wanting to cry when a cop pulls me over (twice) or is in my presence (i.e.. flat tire sitch) I get it at different times about different things. Never been fully diagnosed either so I feel you! I do have medicine but I refuse to take it...and suffer from anxiety oops!
ReplyDeleteMy sister is diagnosed and has medicine, but idk if I'd actually take it even if I was diagnosed! Mixed feelings about that..I'd like to continue to suffer as well haha
DeleteI completely relate to you. I know I experience more anxiety than the average person also, but am not big on the idea of taking medicine. If only there was some sort of natural cure.
ReplyDeleteStacy
Seriously! If you find one, let me know :)
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